


Teeth

by AshsHorrorShow



Category: Free!
Genre: Dirty Jokes, Drabble, Gen, Humor, Teeth, Teeth Jokes, This Is Immature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 12:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12108279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshsHorrorShow/pseuds/AshsHorrorShow
Summary: Now that Momo thought about it, having sharp teeth like Rin's would be really inconvenient, wouldn't it?





	Teeth

“I can’t take it anymore! Rin-senpai, why are your teeth like that?” Momotarou Mikoshiba asked loudly, leaning over the cafeteria table to look at his captain, Rin Matsuoka’s mouth more closely. He must have noticed Rin’s unusually sharp teeth whenever Rin bit into the sandwich he was eating for lunch.

“Momo-san!” Nitori Aiichirou yelped in shock, looking like Momo had just asked the most shocking and offensive question in the world. Taking on a chiding tone, he grabbed Momo by the back of the shirt and tugged him backwards lightly back into a seating position again, saying, “Honestly, you don’t go around asking people questions about their appearance like that. It’s rude!” 

Figuring that Momo wasn’t going to apologize for his behavior, Nitori turned to Rin and held his hands up apologetically and began saying, “I’m so sorry you had to hear that Rin-senpai and-“

However, before Nitori could go on a spiel, Rin waved a dismissive hand and said, “It’s alright, Ai. There’s no need for you to apologize on his behalf. And don’t worry, I don’t mind. It’s not the first time I’ve been asked about them.” Setting his sandwich down, he glanced around the large lunch table they were at. Most of his teammates were now looking at him, their attention captured due to the fact that Momo had a habit of screaming about whatever interested him and after hearing what he had said this time, they were probably assuming they were going to have to watch Rin murder the kid. Sighing, he stood up and looked around, saying, “Feel free to ask about them if you guys want. In answer to your question specifically, Momo, they just came out that way. No one knows why.” Pointing to another raised hand a bit further way, he said, “You, go.”

The boy he pointed to immediately piped up with, “Did your parents freak out when they began to grow in like that?”

“Well let’s just say that my mom apparently abruptly stopped breastfeeding me when they first started to come in,” Rin paused and smirked at the ensuing chuckles that came from that before he sobered up and pointed to another raised hand and said, “Shoot.”

“Are they ever a pain to deal with?” the boy asked.

“Not really… the only time I can think they are really a hassle is when I bite my tongue,” Rin said, grinning rather wickedly at the ensuing sharp inhales and winces. Glancing around, he asked, “Anyone else?”

He waited for a few more seconds, but when no one raised their hand, he clapped and picked up his tray with the tattered remains of his sandwich saying, “Alright since that is done, I’m off to find Sousuke. Practice is over, you all did great. Practice starts again tomorrow at 12:00 p.m., got it?”

He listened to his teammates cry out their affirmation and then walked away to go get rid of his tray, popping the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.

Once he was sure that Rin was out of earshot and conversation was resuming amongst his teammates as normal, Nitori threw Momo an annoyed glance and said, “Well Momo-san, I hope you are proud of yourself.”

As he expected really, Momo looked unabashed by his comment. However, there was something odd about his expression this time. After a few heartbeats, Nitori finally realized why. Momo actually looked like he was deep in thought. That was an expression Nitori never thought he would see on the younger boy’s face.

Somewhat scared of what Momo could be thinking so hard about, Nitori tentatively began when Momo cut him off by saying, “I hope Rin-san never gets a boyfriend.”

“Eh?! Momo, what are you-“ Nitori gasped, feeling shocked at the horridness of the statement, “Why would you-“

“Think about it!” Momo interrupted once more, “Rin’s bisexual right? Well, I think it will be better if he gets a girlfriend honestly because if he gets a boyfriend there is no way he can perform oral with teeth like that unless he finds a guy who wants to feel like his dick is going through a can opener.”

Nitori found himself cringing and blushing at the same time, clapping a hand over his mouth in shock. Once he trusted himself to be able to speak without it coming out in squeaks, he croaked, “You’re terrible, Momo-san.”

Momo grinned at him without shame and said, “But now you are going to think about it, aren’t you?!”

Nitori denied this immediately… but as he went through the rest of his day, the thought never did leave his mind. It followed him the rest of the day like a cloud, and it made Nitori somewhat concerned on how he was going to be able to face Rin tomorrow. 

When the thought was still haunting him, even in the dark of the night, he thumped his head on his pillow and swore, “Damn it, Momo…”

He heard the redhead laugh on the bunk above him, gloating. “Told you so!”

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahaha, I'm not funny. 
> 
> Basically whenever I saw Rin's teeth in the anime, I just kept thinking how much it would suck to have them. I had a lot more reasons for why they would suck but decided to just keep this stupid fic short and sweet.
> 
> I couldn't think of a way to put Sousuke in this so just assume he was angsting by a vending machine while this event was going down.
> 
> I also want to note the entire time I was writing this, the song "Teeth" by Lady Gaga was playing in my head the whole entire time. 
> 
> Critique is always wanted, and have a good day!
> 
> (Also I have to put this here because it is worthy of mention. When I told a friend about the fellatio joke at the end of this, he said, "Oh god... I am imagining the scene with Spongebob with the candybar." And... wow. :'D)


End file.
